French Speakers


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So the most embarrassing thing happened to me yesterday, but kind of funny now that I look back on it.

I was at my place, you know, feeling quite lazy. I did not wanna cook any dinner, so I decided, you know, what I’m gonna head out and pick up something delicious to eat.

Now usually, I try to find something healthy, you know, go to the local salad place or the pita place on the corner, but I wanted something different, and the truth be told, I was thinking about what my friend ate the other day.

Last week, I had lunch with her, and the entire time while I was having my salad, which was not very satisfying, I was envying her burger. It just looked so good, so I decided to search for another location of the same burger joint in my area.

And lo and behold, I found it. Now, as I was heading over there, I was kind of hating myself. “I need to be strong. I need to stop eating food that’s not good, not good for me” and it reminded me of the time, you know, I ordered or I bought eight pieces of cheesecake and I ate four of them in one night.

It’s not entirely my fault. You know, I mean, these huge chunks of cheesecake are just so good. And then the guy who owns this cheesecake shop, he’s just this jolly, happy, you know, old man who looks like everyone’s grampa, and he’s so sweet and so convincing when he says, “Oh you should have more, you should have more.” You just feel like you can’t say no.

And on top of of that, you know, the cheesecake shop has this, like, grand design, right, that makes it look a fancy boutique. You just feel so special being in there. So yeah, but then, I ended up feeling really terrible. I got a stomachache because I ate so much cheesecake.

But I ended up getting some junk food at this burger place anyways. Now while I was eating, a huge drop of ketchup hit my shirt, fell down on my white shirt. And I didn’t realize it but then my jacket also contributed to the problem by spreading the ketchup all around my shirt.

So, you know, but I didn’t notice until I was walking. And this woman, you know, looked at me with this really grave expression. She got so startled and then she said, “Oh my God, ow, that looks like it hurts.” And I thought, “What is she talking about?” I followed where her eyes were going, and I realized, “Oh, it looks like I’m bleeding, like the ketchup stain had gotten so big.

I felt so embarrassed, especially since she didn’t believe at first that it was ketchup. I had to really, you know, spend some time convincing her that I was totally fine, and no, she did not need to call 911 for someone to assist me. I was OK, haha.

But I thought, as I’m walking down the street, after talking to her, how do I deal with this. I need to hide it, right, so I took off my jacket, and I tied in a kind of funny way around my midsection. And it worked but then the truth was it was kind of cold that day.

It was very breezy yesterday, but not a warm breeze, and so I thought to myself, I’ll just pretend that I’m hot, but I kept shivering. I got some pretty funny looks. I guess I’m not very good at deceiving people because, you know, I got some odd looks as I was trying to seem like I wasn’t freezing, but yet at the same time I was shivering, unnecessarily with my jacket right there.

Jeez, I felt so ridiculous yesterday. I guess that’s my punishment for eating junk food. Aah!

Collocations for Fluency

Do you use these phrases when you talk in English? If you want to sound fluent like a native speaker, you should!

truth be told (used before you reveal a fact or opinion you feel shy about or you might lie about otherwiselo and behold (used before you share something surprising or dramatic /humorous way of introducing something)the most (embarrassing) thing
kind of funnylook back on (it)the entire time
can’t say nocontribute to (a problem)didn’t notice until
I thought to myselfget odd/funny looksbut/yet at the same time